Dear Cheri,
My friend is into threesomes. He told me of one meeting he had and how it works. That you always want to make the third person feel welcome. That you take care of her. He said how his wife took care of the woman and then they both took care of him. But then the woman wouldn't take care of his wife so he ended up taking care of the woman while his wife stood back and watched. A few weeks later he told me the how they became swingers. His wife found him writing an email to another woman and confronted him. After she cooled down she was kind of into exploring some things. The other woman had suggested a few times about them doing a threesome. My chest stung I then knew that the other woman had set him up. The wife had to be hurt because after she watched them together, she told him just be upfront when he was going to go meet her. He was clueless. He didn't see the hurt of his wife. He couldn't see the other woman denied doing anything to his wife to trap her into letting her have him She had them both. The wife was at her mercy now she wouldn't be able to tell Bill, the husband, he couldn't see the other woman. I don't understand. I have looked up narcissistic behavior. I think back now and when we were up front who we were and what we wanted from each other he started rules for me. Only text 9-6 Mon-Fri unless he would contact me first. I am scared that I am getting involved with a narcissist.
Frightened
Dear Frightened,
Walk away now, no scratch that run away now. Change your number, delete email, don't answer you phone and please get counseling. I am surviving he was wanting you to do a threesome with him or for him I didn't know why you told me that. Have you been sucked into his world and feel sorry for him? Don't, he doesn't deserve it. He is married and I don't care if his wife is okay with it. She is protecting more than just her marriage, she is protecting her lifestyle and stature in the community. Why else would she stay with this man. He demoralizes her with meeting other women. They must control each other somehow and that is why he wants to control you. He put you in your place when he started the schedule. You need to understand that if he treats his wife like that he really won't be a nice guy to anyone else. He gets what he wants and needs then throws away what he doesn't need. You are right it must have hurt his wife to see how he did another woman by assumption is that he enjoyed it immensely thus showing her that he can't get what he needs from just her. Why she stays with him we may never know and since she isn't writing me I really don't care. You are the one I am concerned with. I really do think you need some outside guidance to get you away from him. If he is indeed a narcissist then it may not be an easy fix for you by walking away. We need to fill your life with someone that will occupy your time enough to heal. Please contact me by email or go your clergy to find the help you need.
Very concerned, Cheri
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